Before I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in 2014, many people were skeptical of the idea that I was an aspie. Take my parents for example. My mom said I couldn’t be autistic because I had empathy, and my dad insisted that I just had anxiety. In fact, many people dismissed my social awkwardness as nothing more than shyness. Once I was diagnosed, I thought this would change. I thought that once I had an official diagnosis, people would accept it without question. While this has been true for some people, there have definitely been others who have doubted my diagnosis.
The question is, why? Thinking about it, I’ve thought of 3 potential reasons. If you’ve ever had doubters, these three reasons may apply to your situation as well.
Negative perceptions of autism
It is no secret that autism is often portrayed in an extremely negative light. Many people believe autistics are nothing more than burdens on society. Others believe that being autistic is synonymous with having very low intelligence or being unable to take care of yourself. Given this, it’s no surprise that so many aspies have had people doubt their diagnosis. After all, anyone who holds the above views would find it very difficult to believe that autistics can do things like go to college or have a job (shocker: many of us do).
I once had someone claim I couldn’t be autistic for a similar reason. I was commenting on a YouTube video, and in the comment I mentioned that I had autism. In response, this person said that I couldn’t be autistic because “autistic people can’t write like you or even write at all.” This response was very upsetting to me. It blew my mind that someone could believe that all autistics were incapable of writing. It made me realize just how misinformed the general public is about autism.
The idea that all autistics are the same
Another problem is that some people assume that all autistics are alike. Some may think we all act like Rain Man for example. These people, of course, won’t accept a person’s diagnosis if they don’t act like the stereotypical aspie.
This situation has happened to me once before. I had someone tell me that they didn’t believe I had autism because I acted nothing like their autistic friend. They said the friend was rude and had a monotone voice, and that I was nothing like that. But the thing is that aspies can differ a lot from person to person. When I first joined a group for autistics, it blew my mind how different everyone was from one another. As the saying goes, “If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.”
The “Girls can’t have autism” myth
Many people think of autism as something that mostly affects males. This isn’t surprising since males are 4.5 times more likely to receive an autism diagnosis than females. The problem is that since autism is considered to be more of a male disability, many people will be skeptical of a woman’s diagnosis. Though I can’t say for sure, I suspect that many people have doubted my diagnosis in the past due to my gender.
As I mentioned earlier in this post, my mom didn’t believe I had Asperger’s when I first suggested the idea. But her opinion changed, which is a major reason why I sought diagnosis. Why did her opinion change? Because she read about how autism presents in girls, and realized that I fit the criteria very well. In other words, I may never have gotten my autism diagnosis had she not read about female aspie traits. Since many aspie girls present differently from the stereotypical aspie, I wonder how many are out there who will never know they are autistic. Though it’s claimed that 1 in 189 girls have autism, I suspect that the true number could be a lot higher than that.
If anyone has doubted your diagnosis before, I encourage you to share in the comments.